Interlude: A Tale of Kam Anders
by sidlerocks
Summary: A continuation with her permission and collaboration of Helen Pattskyn's marvelous "Forget Not Me", a future fic set within the history of her AU'Verse. Just to tide everyone over until she has time to return to the adventures of The Bonny Welshman.
1. Introduction

Interlude: A Tale of Kam Anders

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"_We remained side by side, talking in our secret way—but sometimes silent or just exchanging a whispered word or two at long intervals."_

_--Joseph Conrad, __**The Secret Sharer**_

……………………………...

_This is a tale set in the wonderful __**Torchwood**__ AU'Verse of Helen Pattskyn (fanfictiondotnet/u/605536/), and more specifically is a continuation of the story begun in the marvelous "Forget Not Me" (fanfictiondotnet/s/4567675/1/ForgetNotMe). I've loved all of Helen's __**Torchwood**__ stories, but for some reason (well, because it's phenomenal) this one just wouldn't let me go. I was checking for new chapters first thing when I woke up in the morning and last thing before I went to bed at night. And then, Helen finished it. But the story still had me by the scruff of the neck, and as it turns out, wouldn't let go of her either. So the best news for all of us is that once she gets some work done on some of her other terrific stories, Helen's coming back to this one, and boy, is there some great stuff coming up!!_

_In the meantime, with her incredibly gracious permission, and some collaboration, here's a bit more of the story of Kam and Jack to tide us all over._

_If for some reason for example, you're a __**CSI**__ fan and looking for more "Filling in the Blanks"—in which case all I can say is that Jack and Ianto are a whole lot hotter than Gil and Sara these days (esp. as __**CSI**__ prepares to go on without either of them) so you might want to check out __**Torchwood**__--the tech stuff is way cooler too—who cares if it's all made up--it's not as if CSI doesn't take plenty of shortcuts you've managed to stumble on this and you're not familiar with Helen's AU'Verse series, it's worth checking out. You could just start by reading her "Short Stories", but if you want to read in chronologic order, here's the list (as compiled by itoshii chan on livejournal):_

_AU'VERSE series:_

_PART 1: Short Stories chs. 7 – 9 42 – 44 10 – 12 45 – 1st half of 55 1 2nd half of 55 – 57_

_PART 2: You Keep Me Warm At Night_

_PART 3: Short Stories chs. 2 – 6_

_PART 4: A New Day_

PART 5: Short Stories ch. 13

_PART 6: Moving On_

_PART 7: Short Stories chs. 14 – 36_

_PART 8: Stolen Earth AU_

_PART 9: Short Stories chs. 37 – 38_

_PART 10: Family Matters_

_PART 11: Short Stories chs. 39 – 41 58 – 61_

_PART 12: Blood Moon Rising_

_PART 13: Black Rose_

_Familiarity with the AU'Verse would definitely provide background information, but is not necessary to appreciate this story. Reading "Forget Not Me", on the other hand, is essential. This picks up in mid-story. And if you'd like to know more about Henry Fitzroy, check out "Blood Ties". mylifetimedotcom/on-tv/full-episodes/blood-ties/video/season-1/episode-1/episode-1-part-1/1641837644/1614715667._

_Oh, and one other completely self-serving note. Because I post my stories in their entirety and (until recently) am not prone to beg for reviews, I tend not to get many. Mind, if you really like or really hate this, leaving a comment?_


	2. Chapter 1

Interlude—Chapter 1

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"_Happiness sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."_

_--John Barrymore_

……………………..

It was an alert trio that made its way through the broad corridors of Omega Station heading from Henry Fitzroy's living quarters towards the docking bay where The Bonny Welshman awaited, but their vigilance proved to be unnecessary. Whispered word of the deaths of Fletcher and Leese and the arrest of O'Marra had spread like wildfire on the station grapevine, and spacers and residents alike gave Captain Jack Harkness and his companions a wide berth, averting their gazes save the occasional furtive glance. Moving stiffly with pain, Kam Anders couldn't help throwing nervous darting looks this way and that, but his two companions appeared oblivious to the other pedestrians. Only the silence, Harkness' taut jaw and the laser intensity of Henry Fitzroy's gaze revealed his escorts' tension level.

Harkness had hoped to make it onto the ship and into his cabin unnoticed, but when they'd helped Kam to the top of the gangway and aboard, they found Smeed waiting in the small boarding area. He kept his facial expression bland, but the glare in his eyes as he took in the group and turned to his captain telegraphed his displeasure.

"Captain…"

"Jim, you know Henry. Henry, you remember James Smeed, don't you?" Jack greeted him smoothly, casually.

"Of course. Good to see you, James."

Smeed tore his gaze from the Captain to acknowledge the only _other_ impossibly handsome and ageless man of his acquaintance.

"Likewise, Henry. I see you've not been able to talk any more sense into this one than I have."

"On the contrary, Jim. I understand that you and I have been working at cross-purposes in this case. But perhaps we'd be better off continuing this conversation in Jack's quarters, no?" He glanced around. "I understand there are still a handful of crew members contracted to this ship," he glanced at the young man standing quietly between Harkness and himself, Jack's supportive arm around his waist, "and I think if we keep Mr. Anders here much longer, he's going to collapse."

Smeed looked briefly as if he might argue, but deferred to Fitzroy's logic, stepping back from the hatchway into the main corridor to usher the others through. Jack looked down at the young man standing close beside him.

"You doing okay, Kam?"

It was a tired smile that responded to his question, but it was a smile.

"I'm fine, Jack." And there it was again, a frisson from the past, no Welsh accent, no blue eyes, but the same exasperated expression, the same intonation, the same making it on sheer guts in the face of recent suffering. Resigned never to know, Jack shook himself slightly and returned the grin. Brushing a quick kiss across the younger man's lips, he indicated the hatchway.

"Okay, let's get you home and settled in."

Once in his cabin, Jack set about to make Kam comfortable, but paused when he felt Henry lay a hand on his arm.

"Jack, why don't you let me get Mr. Anders into bed while you and Mr. Smeed talk. I think you've got some things to discuss before you fill the holes in your crew manifest." He saw Jack's instinctive refusal and smiled at him gently. "Don't worry, Jack, we'll be fine."

Jack caught and held Kam's gaze, asking his take, and the young man gave a single decisive nod. Jack nodded back and, knowing that Henry would take care of Kam, turned his attention to Smeed.

"Jim, can I get you drink?"


	3. Chapter 2

Interlude—Chapter 2

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_"The intelligent man always fights for lost causes realizing that all others are merely effects."_

_--e.e. cummings_

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Following Henry into Jack's bedroom, Kam looked around the small simple but well-appointed room. A sweater had been tossed carelessly over the back of the desk chair and he picked it up, bringing it to his face and inhaling deeply. Watching him, Henry chuckled softly.

"He does smell good, doesn't he?" "Damn those fifty-first century phermones," he muttered under his breath, almost missing Kam's response.

"He smells like my dreams," Kam replied softly. Henry's gaze sharpened.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked casually.

"For as long as I can remember, I've dreamed about a man with blue eyes," the boy answered reluctantly. "A man who would hold me in his arms, who loves me. I always thought, I mean, it was just dreams. But he has a scent, one I'd never smelled before. He smells like Jack."

"Tell me more about your dreams, Kam," Henry suggested, moving as he did to Jack's wardrobe where he dug out a soft t-shirt and shorts for the young man to sleep in, thinking as he did that he needed to remind Jack to augment the boy's wardrobe before the Welshman left the station.

"They're just dreams, Henry."

"Indulge me, would you please?"

Kam hesitated. In the world of the Red Houses those dreams had been the only thing of his that had been private, the only thing that wasn't available to the highest bidder. But Henry was Jack's friend, and he had taken care of Kam, gotten him a real doctor, asking nothing in return. Answering his questions seemed a small repayment for his kindnesses.

"He has blue eyes, and dark hair. An accent. Jack's scent. Jack's voice. Jack's eyes. But he doesn't dress like Jack. He wears—odd clothes. Always the same. Dark slacks, light blue shirt, straps over his shoulders and a long dark coat. I've never seen one like it. But in my dreams, I love the coat. It always smells like him too. The man in my dreams, he tells me that he loves me, that he'll love me for the rest of my life, that he'll never forget me. But," he paused, and Henry waited, silently. Kam looked up and met his eyes. "But in the dreams, he—he doesn't call me 'Kam'."

"What does he call you, son?" There was so much kindness in his voice. Kam felt tears well unbidden, unwelcome in his eyes.

"He calls me 'Cariad'. I've never heard that name before. I always figured, I mean, I thought--they were just dreams, Henry. No one was ever going to love me, to protect me. I wasn't worth it. And you see, even in my dreams, the man in my dreams, even there, it wasn't even me he wanted to be with." Tears filled his eyes then, spilling out, running down his cheeks unnoticed. He'd just revealed to a near virtual stranger one of his greatest shames, that even in his own dreams the Dashing Hero, the man who made him feel safe, and loved, in his own dreams the Dashing Hero wanted to be with someone else.

"Oh, Kam," Henry sighed, pulling the now-sobbing boy into his arms. "'Cariad' isn't a name, it's a word. It means 'beloved'." He kissed the young man tenderly on the forehead before disentangling himself. "Now, we need to get you changed, your face washed and you into bed. There'll be hell to pay if Jack finds out I've made you cry. And I suspect that he might be able to use my help with the very determined Mr. Smeed, who is in the unenviable position of having to replace half of this ship's compliment from among the available miscreants here on Omega Station."

Rubbing angrily at his eyes, trying to drive away the moisture, Kam moaned, "I've caused Jack so many problems. I should never have signed on to this ship. If I'd known…"

"Kam, you signing on to this ship is the best thing that's happened to Jack in five hundred years. And don't you believe otherwise for one second. No matter what Mr. Smeed says."

Finally getting his tears under control, Kam looked at him wet eyed but curiously. "Five hundred years. Fifty-first century phermones. Fifty-first century technology. You talk like Jack. The two of you have been friends a long time, haven't you? And when I say 'a long time', I'm not talking about ten years, or twenty…"

"Yes, I've known Jack a long time." He looked at him sharply. "That's not something we advertise, you understand. Certainly not in this era of fear. Even with very good friends, like Mr. Smeed. Understand? You, me and Jack only." Kam nodded, and Henry relaxed. "Now you, put on those clothes, go wash your face, and get into bed. Oh, and stop worrying. You're safe now—Jack will see to that—and everything is going to be all right. I promise." He pushed just a little with his mind. "But right now you need to sleep. And to heal."


	4. Chapter 3

Interlude—Chapter 3

_………………………_

_"Honor the dead. Fight like hell for the living."_

_--Mantra of US troops during Viet Nam_

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"Did you not listen to a bloody thing I said?" Smeed's words had exploded out in a harsh whisper as soon as the bedroom door clicked closed behind Henry and Kam.

"I listened to all of it," Jack answered calmly, moving around to sit on the settee and putting his feet up on the coffee table, after surreptitiously checking to make sure that his boots were clean, a small concession to Kam's sensibilities. "I just chose not to follow your advice." Swinging his feet to the floor, he sat upright, leaning forward intently, his languidness instantly gone.

"Jimmy, I value your opinions, I really do, more than you could ever know, and I know that you only have everyone's best interests at heart, especially Kam's. I know too that I don't always consider the ramifications to other people's lives before becoming involved, and I appreciate you reminding me of that. But you've known me a long time, and you need to listen and believe me when I tell you that what is going on with Kam is not comparable to any affair I've had since you've known me. I'm not going to get bored, I'm not going to leave him. The only way the relationship ends is if he leaves me, and if that happens, you're going to give him such a glowing letter of recommendation that any ship—any employer--in the Empire would hire him, no questions asked.

You asked me before if I knew Kam from somewhere, and I told you, 'nowhere that would make any sense'. But the more honest answer is that I don't know, and frankly it doesn't matter. I loved someone once. He died a long time ago. Kam makes me feel that way again. I think he feels the same about me. Human life is too short for me not to act on that, not to try to once again achieve that kind of connection with another person. And nothing, absolutely nothing you could possibly say can change my mind. So either, we need to move past this and figure out what we're going to do about finding ourselves with only half of a skeleton crew at the last outpost before uncharted space, or you're going to need to find a new berth. Because as much as I value you and as hard as it would be for me to try to go on without you, if you aren't going to be supportive and understanding to Kam, you're not going to stay on the Welshman."

There was a long silence as the two old friends eyed each other warily, thoughtfully. Smeed took a long draw on the glass of Scotch Jack had poured him before they sat down.

"All right then. We have two problems. One is the remaining crew we already have, who were at best aware of what was going on with young Mr. Anders, at worst complicit, and the other is the number of openings we need to fill. Where would you like to start?"

Henry spoke from the bedroom door, having entered the room unnoticed by the other two.

"I know it goes against the grain for you, Jack, but you're going to have to talk to your crew. Make your expectations clear. It's hard for young men and women to meet them if they don't know what they are."

"And while you do that, Jack," Smeed continued, "I'm going to scour this hunk of metal we're parked on and see if I can't find us the rest of a crew."


	5. Chapter 4

Interlude—Chapter 4

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"_I can't use you life sized. I need my Allen Swanns as big as I can get them."_

_--Benji Stone, __**My Favorite Year**_

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The Welshman's remaining crew members were sticking fairly close to the ship, not wanting to be left behind on Omega whenever the captain finally decided to depart, so it didn't take long to gather them in the ship's one small conference room. Henry was right—it had been a long time since Jack had assumed any kind of leadership role with a group of people. He needed the Welshman to get out to the margins of the Empire's influence, and he needed a crew to operate the Welshman. If he could have done it on his own, he would have, but any smaller ship would have lacked the cargo space for the space junk he scavenged (if only Gwen could see him now, he smiled to himself—lots of good aliens stuff these days) and he needed the scavenged material to support himself. So a crew was essential, and so, therefore, was James Smeed. And the one crew, one job rule. If you start being a leader, putting together a team, sooner or later people die. And Jack had tired of loosing friends. For a long time, the pleasures of relationships had outweighed the pain of their loss, but that was before he'd lost Ianto.

The irony of the fact that it was a young man who reminded him so of the Welshman he'd buried so long ago causing him to again face a group of people who looked to him for leadership did not escape him.

Four crewmen joined him in around the dented and scarred table. Roberta Tolbert, Kai Jennings, Leah Ali and a fourth man whose name Jack couldn't come up with. Four left. Plus Smeed and Kam. Tolbert looked curious. The others looked scared.

"We all have pasts," Jack began. "You, me, Mr. Smeed—all of us. If we didn't, we wouldn't be out here on the margins of the known universe. You wouldn't be signing up to serve on an F-class transport. I don't care about that. I don't want to know about your past unless it's going to impact your performance on this ship.

What I do care about are the present and the future. I only demand a few things while you're on board my ship: that you do your job, and that you conduct yourself with professionalism and integrity. You do that, and at the end of six months, Mr. Smeed will provide you with a letter of recommendation so glowing that no one will care about your lack of a Proper Certificate. Every one of you knows what a letter from him is worth, or you wouldn't be on this ship.

I will say, however, that you're not off to a very good start. A member of this crew was being abused and tortured by a crewmate, and while I do not believe that any of you were involved, I also do not think that you were completely unaware of what was going on. No one came to me, no one intervened. I will tell you right now that that is unacceptable behavior and if anything like that happens again, everyone who is complicit will join the perpetrators on a quick trip out the airlock."

He paused, letting his words sink in. "Deep space remains a very dangerous place. This is a very small ship in an enormous vacuum . We are going to be a long, long way from help if something goes wrong, and believe me, something always does. I guarantee that before this job is over, more than one of you will have relied on another to survive. I don't require that you like each other, but I do require that you treat each other with respect and dignity.

For the next six months, we are a team. If one of you gets in a bar fight, I expect the rest of you to dive in, no questions asked. If I'm there, I'll be right beside you. And then I'll discipline you for not preventing it in the first place. But I will not abide fighting within the group. If a conflict arises that you cannot settle yourselves, you WILL come to me, and I WILL find a way to resolve it. My door is always open. I know not all of you have much practice trusting people, probably for good reasons. And I've not done much to change that since you signed up. But for the next six months, you WILL trust each other, and me. And that's an order. Is it understood?"

……………………..

Jack slipped back into his cabin quietly, wary of awakening Kam. Henry was seated in one of the arm chairs, Cole Porter softly playing, a glass of single malt whisky in his hand.

"Kam?"

"Still sleeping, as I promised. How are you?"

Jack shrugged, moving across the room to pour himself a drink.

"It went well enough, I suppose. Hopefully I haven't chased off the last four crewmen. If I'm not careful, I'll be flying the damned ship myself."

"I hear Kam's a good pilot."

"Yeah, actually. One of the best I've seen in awhile."

Henry's mind wandered back to Ianto, and how effortlessly he had done everything, anything.

"He's a nice boy, Jack. But he's still finding all of this a little overwhelming."

"He's not the only one." He sat heavily on the settee and looked at Henry. "You've spent a fair amount of time with him now. What do you think?"

"About him reminding you of Ianto?" Jack rolled his eyes. As if he could have been asking anything else.

"I guess I think—what difference does it make?"

"What?"

"What difference does it make? Are you going to love him less if he's just Kam, and not Ianto? Would the things that remind you of Yan bring those memories back any less strongly if they're just coincidences? Does it really change anything? You're the one who doesn't believe there's anything after death, Jack. What if I told you I KNEW for an absolute certainty that that boy was Ianto, somehow, some way. Would you believe me?"

Jack pondered the question.

"Probably not."

"Then what difference does it make what I think? I think that boy needs you, and you need him, and that you will each bring a lot of joy into the other's life. And that's all that I believe matters."

Jack nodded, and stood, taking his glass with him, he moved into the bedroom to gaze at the sleeping boy, missing as he did the tears welling up in Henry's eyes.

"Jack, Kam—I deeply hope I'm doing the right thing…" prayed the immortal duke.

……………………………..

It was with a surprisingly light heart that Smeed set off to the Quartermaster's office. There was a change in the air, and suddenly it didn't feel like it was necessarily going to be a bad one. The quartermaster greeted him with pleasure when he entered.

"Jim! I thought the Welshman was headed out of here awhile ago."

"No, Pete. We were delayed by a losing a couple of crew members. I need to hire replacements. You have any likely prospects?"

"You looking for your regular? Experienced ask-no-questions toughs?"

The description startled Smeed. He hadn't realized they'd been looking for any particular type, but obviously they had, and his friend had nailed it on the head.

"Actually," he answered slowly, "No. We're going to be out for awhile, so we can do some on the job training. I'm looking more for a group that's here because they've gotten the short end of the stick up until now. Not polished, but honest and hard working. I don't care what the back story is, I'm looking for people seeking an opportunity to reinvent themselves through hard work, not cynics looking to work an angle. Do you have anyone like that? I need six."

The Quartermaster eyed him speculatively for a long time before speaking.

"You know, Jim. I think I just might…"


	6. Chapter 5

Interlude—Chapter 5

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"_What do you like doing best in the world, Pooh?"_

_"Well," said Pooh, "What I like best—"and then he had to stop and think, because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you begin to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called."_

_--A. A. Milne, __**Winnie the Pooh**_

………………………

Kam woke to the feel of soft lips gently pressing against his forehead.

"Jack?" he queried.

"Shhhh. Sorry Kam. I didn't mean to wake you."

The younger man opened his eyes.

"No, it's okay. I'm glad you did. How long have I been sleeping?"

"A few hours."

Kam studied the older man's face seriously.

"I've caused you a great deal of trouble, Captain Jack Harkness, sir."

"You were not the cause of it."

"You took it on because of me."

"Yes."

"Why did you do that?"

"It's not my nature to let anyone be tortured while it's in my power to do something about it. I would have done the same for anyone. Even a stranger."

Kam searched his eyes, seeing the truth of his statement burning in them, and his heart sank. Every time he started to think that he might be special…

Jack read this thought process in the younger man's eyes. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he pulled him up and into his arms.

"Kam, don't mistake the fact that I would have protected anyone from the brutality you were suffering for any lack of interest in you on my part. I want you too, as much as you want me, perhaps more."

"It isn't possible."

"Ah, though you have no reason to believe me at this point, dear Kam, it certainly is." He bent over and pressed his lips to the younger man's. The kiss started gently, sweetly, but quickly heated up until Jack found himself on his back, Kam leaning over him, deepening the kiss. Jack closed his eyes, reveling in the homecoming, the familiarity, the memories, the mingling of past and present. When the kiss finally ended, he opened his eyes to find Kam sitting back, eyeing him speculatively.

"What?"

The boy answered hesitantly. "I've never been on top before, I mean, not like that. Service providers, well, generally we're not supposed to be the aggressor. Not the young boys anyhow. There are others who…" He trailed off.

"And what did you think?"

Kam's hesitant expression was wiped away by a suggestive grin. "I liked it. How about you?"

"I liked it too. Kam, anything you want to try—you know you're welcome to, right?"

"I just want to make you happy."

Jack reached up and brushed the blonde bangs out of his eyes, so very different from Ianto's hair, Ianto's eyes, Ianto's face. He studied his companion thoughtfully.

"I meant what I told you, Kam. I don't want who ever it is you think I want you to be. I'm not looking for an act. It's been a long time since you've been able to just be yourself. And you've been badly hurt, in more ways than one. You need time to heal, you need time to get to know Kam. I'm not going anywhere. " He ran a gentle finger over Kam's bruised lips. "Didn't that hurt? Just now?"

Kam shook his head, but knew Jack could see the lie in his eyes, and he grinned ruefully.

"A little. But it felt good more than it hurt."

"I don't want to hurt you. There's no rush. When you feel better, what we do, what we want, that's up to you. But for now, I just want to take care of you. Will you let me do that?"

Tears welled unbidden in Kam's eyes. He rubbed at them furiously, angrily with his sleeve. Jack would think he was such a wimp! Laughing gently, Jack reached out and pulled his arm away, tugging the boy closer for a gentle whisper-touch of a brush of lips on lips.

"Shhhh. It's okay. There's nothing wrong with tears, Kam. Believe me, I've cried enough to fill oceans in my life."

"No one's ever wanted to take care of me before, not since I was a baby."

"Then you're long overdue." Involuntarily, Jack's fingers returned to the boy's shaggy bangs. "And I think we'll start with a hair cut and some clothes that actually fit you along with getting those tattoos removed."

Kam looked at him seriously.

"Erasing the marks won't change the bounty. Someone could still figure out…"

Jack waved his hand dismissively.

"I had Henry pay off your contract. Discretely. You're a free man, Cariad." The word slipped out, unnoticed , a verbal caress, until Jack saw the impact it had on the younger man—the endearment distracting him completely from the life altering revelation that had proceeded it.

"Henry said that word means 'Beloved'."

Jack stared at him. "Yes, in Welsh, an old Earth language. Why were you and Henry talking about it?"

"I asked him. I thought it was a name. He told me it was a word."

"But where did you ever hear it to ask?" Jack thought back. He was sure it was a word HE hadn't uttered in five hundred years. Not out loud. He'd not heard so much as a Welsh accent in two hundred years; it had been at least twice that long since he'd actually heard a word in the language. Any word.

Jack's sudden intensity making him unsure of the right answer, Kam got up off the bed and moved to the large glass port where he gazed out at distant stars. The captain's bedroom was one of the few private spaces on the ship with a view of space. Jack had to strain to hear his answer.

"I hear it sometimes, in my dreams."

Jack swore his heart stopped beating for a moment. Then he took a deep breath, deliberately schooling his voice and expression with all the blandness he could muster.

"You seem like you're feeling better. How about something to eat, and then if you're feeling up to it, we can see about those tattoos, and a hair cut."

Surprised, Kam turned to look at him. The tension was not gone from Jack's shoulders, nor the intensity from his gaze, but Kam could read another message in the older man's eyes: _Not now. Don't worry. Trust me_. So he too took a deep breath, and forced a light smile onto his face.

"That sounds good, Jack. Really good."

Kam insisted he could shower unattended; Jack left him to it while he headed to the mess to find something to eat. Once clean and dried, Kam found he was unable to rewrap the elastic bandage around his ribs—moving his arms enough to do so was too painful. So he gingerly pulled on a loose pair of pants Jack had dug out for him, noting that he seemed to have stopped bleeding after being sewn up by Henry's physician. He'd never been treated by an actual doctor before, never been numbed up before being stitched, nor given pain medication afterwards. Idly he observed that proper treatment seemed to speed healing. Which didn't keep his stomach or ribs from hurting, it just made the pain a bit more tolerable. The doctor had said many of his injuries would take time to heal. But he'd also said Kam would, in time, be fine.

Moving from the shower into the sitting room, Kam headed for the electric kettle, intending to heat water for tea. As he reached for the kettle, though, he spotted an old coffee maker tucked way in the back. Pulling that out instead, he dug through cupboards until he found an airtight tin with coffee beans, and a dusty old grinder.

When Jack strode back into his quarters, his hands full of breakfast plates, he was met by the sight of a shirtless Kam, holding out a mug in a stance so familiar it caused another hitch in his heart beat.

"Coffee, Sir?" Jack put the food carefully down on the narrow counter and wordlessly took the cup. Any coffee Kam could have found would have had to be ancient, unpalatable, and yet the first sip took him back more than five hundred years, more than twenty five hundred, really, to stepping out of the Hub to be greeted by an annoyingly persistent young man in jeans, a white shirt and jacket, leather choker around his neck, the injury to his left ear from the prior night's weevil capture now clean and scabbed.

"_Morning. Coffee?"_

Jack remembered that first sip of Ianto's magic brew. Always perfect. Just like this. He looked up to see Kam eyeing him curiously.

"Jack? You okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Good coffee. Thanks." The younger man picked up his own mug and took a sip. Jack continued, nodding at the covered plates.

"Breakfast. I found some pineapple…"


	7. Chapter 6

Interlude—Chapter 6

_……………………………….._

_"The most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible."_

_--Albert Einstein_

……………………………………….

In the end, Jack made the trip to the space station on his own. After wrapping Kam's ribs, and helping him slip into a soft, white t-shirt, Jack had set the small table with breakfast for two, and sat down with Kam to eat, luxuriating in the rich, impossible coffee, entertaining Kam with stories of alien encounters, only a few of which were too off color. He kept them light, but avoided the funniest, as it clearly was painful when the younger man laughed out loud. But even that small effort exhausted his battered body, and instead of heading off together to run their essential errands, Jack got Kam settled on the couch with _Ozma of Oz_. Jack doubted if he'd make it through the first chapter, but Kam had insisted on the couch instead of bed, claiming he'd spent too much time there already.

"You'll be safe here, Kam. No one but me can get into this cabin once I've secured the lock. Not Smeed, not Henry, not anyone."

Kam meet his gaze evenly, warmth glowing from his eyes.

"I know I'm safe, Jack. Don't worry about me."

"I'll be back in a bit."

Making arrangements first with Henry's doctor and then a barber to meet him back at the ship, Jack headed for the retail corridors. Geared towards taking every last dollar from the riff raff of spacers either heading out into or back from uncharted space, the mall provided neither the variety nor quality of goods that could be found more centrally, but with some effort Jack was able to find the things he needed. A supply of good coffee beans, shampoo that didn't smell medicinal and some other necessities, pants that would hug Kam's narrow hips, shirts that weren't pulled out of shape by years of use and abuse by people of different sizes and shapes, a sweater, to keep him warm while reading up on the observation deck, far from the ship's engines, surrounded by frigid space. While he may have lacked the precision of Ianto's "family eye", Jack was fairly confident that the clothes he found would be a huge improvement over the tattered rags the boy currently sported. New boxers too had been a necessity in Jack's mind, since having heard Kam shyly admit he'd never owned a pair of underwear. Not much of what he bought was new. While he didn't begrudge spending a chunk of the nest egg he'd managed to put away outfitting Kam, he didn't need to waste it needlessly. And a wardrobe of new clothes would arouse questions, curiosity and innuendos that he knew the boy could do without. As it was, his ship's pilot was going to be the object of interest for sharing the captain's cabin. Jack wasn't going to do anything else to support the impression that he was a kept man.

Carrying his purchases, he made it back well in advance of when the doctor and barber were expected. As he had anticipated, Kam was sound asleep on the settee.

"Kam?" He stroked the boy's head gently.

"Mmmmm?"

"Wake up now, sweetheart. You need to get up and get dressed. The doctor will be here soon." He helped Kam into the bedroom and showed him his purchases.

"Jack! You didn't need to!! This must have cost a fortune! I have clothes…"

"Shhhh. No arguing. Pick something out and get dressed." He moved to the drawer where he'd stored most of Kam's meager wardrobe. Digging through, he tossed the worst of the batch on the floor, making room for the new acquisitions.

"What, Jack, haven't you ever heard of a proper clothes hamper?"

And for the first time, it really _DIDN'T_ matter to Jack whether it was Ianto, or coincidence, or fate or what. What mattered was that in the midst of the Dark Ages of the 26th century, on the very edge of the charted universe, he and Kam had found each other.


	8. Chapter 7

Interlude—Chapter 7

………………………………………

"_Some may say we did too much._

_Some may say we didn't do enough._

_None can say we didn't care."_

_--Richard McClead_

………………………………………..

Jim Smeed paused at the door to his captain's quarters and took a deep breath. In their thirty year association, they'd come to depend on each other, to each know how the other thought. Smeed had grown to adulthood at Jack Harkness' side, and while he might not show it often, he believed there was not a more kind or good or remarkable man in the universe. He'd certainly never admit it to Jack. God knew, the man's ego did not need any boosting.

But this situation was entirely new to him, this Jack Harkness different, and Smeed was unsure what awaited him on the other side of the bulkhead. With a sigh, he pushed the bell. After a second the door slid open, offering him admission. He stepped in.

Smeed couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Jack's quarters tidy. Cozy, yes. Serviceable, always. But neat? He wasn't sure tidiness was within Jack's abilities. Now, though, the table tops were clear. All loose papers were neatly stacked on his desk. The kitchenette was clear, and the little table, really better suited for two, was carefully set for dinner for three. A bottle of wine sat chilling in an ice bucket, Big Band music wafted softly across the room, and an artificial candle (a life-saving concession to life in space) flickered on the table. Jack came out of the bedroom, followed by a neatly dressed blonde boy who Smeed didn't initially recognize. When his eyes fell on him a second time, they widened.

"Oh, my god!"

Kam grinned in response. Gone was the scared, skinny, scrawny, scruffy kid he'd found hanging around in the shadows of the space port, looking as if he expected to be hit at any second. Hit, and probably a lot worse, Smeed realized. In his place stood a neatly dressed, well groomed young man with a short fashionable haircut. Definition that had been hidden by ill-fitting clothes was accented by the simple t-shirt and jeans he now wore. The tattoos that had adorned his wrists were gone. Only someone looking really closely would ever know anything had ever been there, and even then he wouldn't know what. And while the hesitation was still palpable, and would be for quite some time, Smeed knew, the boy glowed with a new found peace and confidence. Plus he smelled good. Not as good as Jack, of course, but like eucalyptus, cedar, and lavender. Fresh, sweet and woody. It fit him well.

"Wow."

Jack crooked an eyebrow, smiling knowingly.

"Looks good, doesn't he?"

"I'll say."

"Like a reputable ship's pilot?"

"Indeed."

"Excellent. Let me get you a glass of wine, and then you can fill me in on the rest of my crew, if I have one."

Jack poured three glasses of wine. Kam hesitated as one was held out to him. Service providers do not drink. Alcohol clouds the mind. Jack watched him closely.

"It's up to you, Kam. That's not your life any more. You're welcome if you want to try it. I'll get you something else if not."

Kam took the glass, raised it slightly in salute and took a small sip. It was unlike anything he'd ever tasted before, light and crisp and fruity. He looked up at Jack in surprise.

"And now you know why so many people on so many planets for so many thousands of years have devoted their life to the growing and distilling of grapes," Jack told him with a wink. Smeed took a sip of his own wine, quietly watching the gentle interplay. He realized that Kam wasn't the only one who had changed. The patina of loneliness that had painted Jack since the day Smeed had met him seemed to have vanished. The transformation was indefinable, but remarkable.

"I've had a word with the four remaining crew members," Smeed started. "They're staying. They're actually happy with the changes. No one is going to bother Kam." He looked the boy in the eye. "Roberta Tolbert seems quite disappointed that you're off the market." He paused, then recognized how his words sounded as he saw the panic in Kam's eyes. "Not that kind of market. The dating market. I think she quite fancies you."

"She was kind," Kam acknowledged. "She was the one crew member who was kind."

"Well, I think you'll find the remaining crew members were all nearly as afraid of Fletcher as you were. They're not cruel, just not very brave. And they aren't proud of their cowardice. Sorry, Jack, I really blew it when I hired that one. Sorry, Mr. Anders."

Jack shrugged.

"I signed off on his contract. Neither of us knew. But we can't run this ship with only seven people."

"I've never been sure how we keep her from crashing or blowing up with twice that. But I spoke at length with Pete. He thinks he can come up with a half-dozen crew members for us. I'm going to go back to see him tomorrow morning. Want to come with me?"

Jack tried to remember when the last time was that he'd actually participated in hiring crew members. Yes, he generally met with and signed off on the picks Smeed had already made, but actually interviewing, making decisions on his own… Years. Decades. Probably not since shortly after hiring Smeed.

"I'd like that very much."


	9. Chapter 8

Interlude—Chapter 8

………………………

_"You shall judge a man by his foes, as well as his friends."_

_--Joseph Conrad, __**Lord Jim**_

……………………..

The last person Pete Davies ever expected to darken his door early on a Thursday morning was the infamous Captain Jack Harkness, yet there he was, larger than life, standing right beside Jim Smeed when Pete arrived at the Quartermaster's Office.

"Morning, Jim. The two of you are up early," he greeted them, eyeing Harkness curiously.

"This particular stop at Omega hadn't been the most enjoyable," Harkness answered him. "We're anxious to put together a crew and get back into space."

"Well, come on in. I'll get us some coffee and then show you what I've been able to come up with."

A few minutes later, Jack took an appreciative sip of coffee. Not as good as Kam's miracle brew, but damned good in any case.

"There was a time when my life ran on good coffee," Jack commented idly. Smeed looked at him curiously. In the thirty years HE'D know Jack, the older man had been primarily a tea drinker. Sure he'd seen him drink the odd cup o' joe, but it wasn't a regular thing. Smeed wasn't even sure Jack had a coffee maker in his quarters.

"I have a crew for you." Pete paused, and looked at them carefully. "If you had come to me a week ago with this request, I would have given you a dozen names which wouldn't have included any of these people. But I've crossed paths with Torren Fletcher in the past. There are a lot of rumors flying and I don't pretend to know what went on about the Welshman, but I do know some spacers who deserve to serve under a captain who stands up to bullies to protect his crew. " He looked directly at Harkness. "I've known Jim Smeed for a long time, and that entire time he's served with you. This week, for the first time, maybe I understand a little of why. These are good people I'm entrusting to you. Don't betray my trust."

Jack met his eyes seriously, steadily, and wordlessly nodded once. Pete turned his attention to Smeed, sliding some battered file folders across the table.

"I've got eight people for you to choose from. A navigator, an engineer, a communications officer, two salvage experts, an all around spacer, a cook and a medic. No pilots, sorry." Decent pilots were among the hardest of crew members to find. Any that ended up on Omega would have serious problems they were still dealing with, not just a history, or they'd be signed up with a ship. Captains would tolerate a lot from a skilled ship driver.

"We've already got a damned good pilot," Smeed replied, "so that's no worry. But what the hell is a medic doing out on Omega looking for work?"

Pete met his gaze evenly.

"Everyone on Omega has a past, Jim, or he wouldn't be here. You know that. She's a good woman, and a good doctor. You have my word on that. Anything else you're going to need to get from her."

Smeed slid the folders to Harkness who slowly reviewed each of the brief files. Closing the last of them, he looked up at his first officer and held his eyes for a long, silent moment. Eight new crew members would stretch their budget to the very limit, and a cook and medic were luxuries he and Smeed had long since decided they could do without. But the people whose files he held were a different species from the "beggars, scavengers and bottom feeders" he'd been hiring for decades. Not angels or saints, no one with a Proper Certificate, no one who would get a berth on an Empire ship. But not bottom feeders either.

And more than that. Jack Harkness had always been a man with a bit of a reputation, but while his sexual appetites were never a secret, he had also been a man who was liked, trusted and respected. Hell, the Prime Minister used to call for his help. It had been a long time since Jack cared much about his reputation, but he wasn't unaware of how it had changed. These days he was feared for his proclivities and his unpredictable behavior, both of which were blown completely out of proportion.

Nearly 3000 years and he'd never had sex with anyone who didn't want it just as much as he did, or who didn't enjoy it just as much. Yet from the rumors, one might think he was a predator. He knew initially just his mere presence had made Kam fearful.

And yet here was a man who was, in his little back corner of the universe, well respected, well liked, a community leader, who was offering Jack his trust. Trust that Jack would take care of people this man cared about. A kind of trust that Jack recognized was hard to come by. A kind of trust no one but his closest friends had offered him in a very long time.

And suddenly Jack was very ready for a change.

Smeed turned to Davies.

"Have all of them aboard the Welshman ready to ship out at 18:00 this evening. We'll take the lot," and he rose and strode out of the office without a look back.


	10. Chapter 9

Interlude—Chapter 9

………………………

"_I can not and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions."_

_--Lillian Hellman to the Committee on Un-American Activities_

……………………..

Kam wasn't in the Captains quarters when Jack returned to the Welshman. Slipping off the jacket he'd worn onto the space station (and, out of deference to his new roommate, hanging it up rather than just throwing it onto the nearest piece of furniture) Jack headed back out to look for him. The observation deck was devoid of occupants, as were the bridge, Kam's old cabin and the infirmary. Jack wasn't sure why he'd left the mess until last in his search, but that was where he found Kam, sitting at a table with Roberta Tolbert and Kai Jennings, sharing cups of coffee, and laughing. Aware his entry had passed unnoticed, Jack got his own cup and then made his way to the table. Kam spotted him first and jumped to his feet.

"Captain, Sir."

"At ease, Mr. Anders. We're not on duty. Mind if I join you?"

The two other crew members rose and made as if to clear out and Jack stopped them with a hand in the air.

"No, please, all of you. I wanted to give you an update on our status. Easier to do this here than call a conference." He indicated the table and the three crewmembers sat, with varying degrees of reluctance. Jack met Kam's eye and gave him a quick smile.

"You look like you're feeling better."

"Yes, Sir. Thank you."

He looked at the other two.

"I understand that you're both staying on with us."

"Yes, Sir," answered Tolbert, "and sir, if I may say so, I'm looking forward to it."

"Thank you, Ms. Tolbert. As a matter of fact, so am I." And as he said it, he realized it was true. True maybe for the first time in a long, long time. He continued, "I wanted to let you know, we've hired replacement crewmembers for the spacers who chose not to continue with us. They should all be aboard by 18:00 tonight, and we'll head out not long after. Do you know where we might be able to find Mr. Chibnall," thank goodness he'd remembered to ask Smeed the other kid's name, "and Ms. Ali? I'd hate to fill the openings we have and then be missing members of the original crew."

The trio at the table exchanged glances.

"What?"

"They're on board, sir," Kam answered. "Don't worry, we'll make sure they get the message." The twinkle in his eye clued Jack in exactly what the two missing crewmembers were up to. How had he missed that? Jack usually knew who was getting it on with whom even before the participants realized they were attracted to each other. Kam read his thought process in Jack's expression.

"You've been a little preoccupied, Sir."

Ruefully, Jack acknowledged the understatement.

"Yes, I suppose we all have. Well, good for them." He looked around the table. "Thank you for letting me join you. Finish up anything you still want to do on Omega. Everyone be sure to be back on board by 18:00. I won't be happy if I have to come looking for you." And with that, he left.

Jennings watched his departing back thoughtfully.

"What happened to, 'If you're not on board, you'll be left behind?'" he mused. "Big difference between those two statements."

"You know what happened, Kai," Roberta told him, nodding at their companion. "Kam happened."

"Don't give me any credit," Kam protested. "He's a good man. That's all. He can talk a good show, but I don't think he would have left anyone behind." He schooled his face to a neutral expression. He too had absolutely believed that if he slipped off the ship before departure, he would be left behind.

"You just keep telling yourself that, Bucko," Tolbert told him, but Kam heard nothing unfriendly in her tone. He'd come to the mess looking for milk for his coffee, not actively avoiding his crewmates, but certainly not looking for companionship. When he'd seen Tolbert and Jennings, he'd intended to get what he came for and get out. But when Roberta had seen him, she'd asked him to join them, and Kai had seconded her welcome. Kam had joined them hesitantly.

"Kam," Tolbert started by addressing the neon purple blinking elephant in the room, "I—"

"WE," interjected Jennings.

"WE," she corrected herself, "can not begin to tell you how sorry we are about what happened to you, and how ashamed we are of not having done something to stop it. Or that we didn't realize just how bad it had gotten. We know there's nothing we can do to make it up to you, but we hope that some day maybe you can find it within you to forgive us."

"And we know it's too little too late, Kam," added Jennings, "but from now on, if you need it, we've got your back."

Kam looked at their sincere expressions, tears welling up in his eyes.

"There's nothing to forgive. You knew what I was, you thought…"

Tolbert interrupted him.

"We all have a past, Kam. People come out to the margins of the Empire for fresh starts. The tattoos you had on your wrists are part of your past, your own history, not something that is anyone else's business. And no one, absolutely no one, has the right to do to anyone what Fletcher was doing to you." She paused, then reached out and touched his hand so that he looked up and met her gaze. "And that," she continued, "is the last time either Kai or I will bring this up with anyone. Any time YOU want to talk to us about it, just say so. But we're not going to raise the subject again. Fair?"

Kam nodded, unable to speak.

"Okay, then. Kai was just telling me about this guy he met on a transport he took a few years ago…"

Kai's story was hysterically funny, and Kam found to his amazement that being with his two crewmates was easy and—fun. He'd never actually had friends before. Of course, there'd been other people he liked in the Red Houses, kids he connected with from time to time, but everyone's primary motivation there was survival, and with no room for generosity or true friendship. One's loyalty had to be first, second and always to one's self. Sitting with Kai and Roberta, he found himself relaxing, joining in, fixing everyone a second round of coffee. He'd been almost disappointed when Jack had come into the mess, afraid the captain would upset the delicate friendship that was developing. But Jack, to his surprise, had neither ignored him, nor made the others feel uncomfortable, joining them, acknowledging his concern for Kam, but not focusing on it. He'd addressed an issue of importance to all of them, and then he'd gracefully left. At the moment, yet another of the bands binding Kam's heart loosened and released. Maybe, just maybe good things didn't only happen in dreams and trashy novels.


	11. Chapter 10

Interlude—Chapter 10

………………………

_"No matter what happens, they can't say we haven't lived."_

_--Humphrey Bogart_

……………………..

Henry spotted Jack as soon as he swept through the door of Bessie's. Jack raked the bistro with his gaze, settled on his impossibly beautiful friend and strode over to his table, flashing a smile at the server who scrambled to get his drink. Henry rose, and embraced Jack warmly.

"Rumor has it the Welshman is heading out this evening. I was afraid I wasn't going to have a chance to see you again."

Jack grinned at him.

"I'd never leave without saying good bye, Henry."

"All past evidence to the contrary. Want a list?"

A sudden flash of memory caused an unexpected ache in Jack's gut. It wasn't only Henry Jack had left without saying "good bye"—he'd done it once to Ianto too, one of the actions in his life he regretted the most.

"Umm—no, thanks. Point taken."

Henry, who had seen the flash of pain on Jack's face and accurately guessed at its cause, gestured towards his table.

"Join me."

Jack sat, and Henry looked at him curiously.

"Where's Kam? I'd kind of expected you to be joined at the hip right about now. He not feel up to coming?"

"He's doing better. He's going to need to take it easy for awhile, but no, that's not why he's not here. I left him drinking coffee and telling old stories with a couple other members of the crew. I was going to ask him to come with me, but they seemed to be having a good time, so I left him to it."

Henry eyed him speculatively.

"You all right with that?"

Jack looked at him in surprise, whether genuine or feigned was unclear to Henry. Jack's days as a profession con man had already been long behind him when they met, but the older man had never lost the skills involved. He could sell snow to Inuits during the Ice Age, and they'd be happy about the purchase.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"There have been times when you didn't share so well."

"Are you kidding? I'm the last person to get jealous over a lover, and Kam and I aren't even…"

"That might be true generally, Jack, but this isn't like that. Ianto's time and attentions you were plenty jealous of…"

"Not because I had any doubts about Ianto. It was just that I knew we were likely to have so little time together, and I didn't want to waste any of it. Torchwood employees aren't known for their longevity."

"Neither are pilots on salvage ships."

"I certainly don't begrudge Kam friendship with other members of the crew. It's going to be hard enough for him, being involved with me." He paused, watching Henry watching him.

"What?"

"I was just thinking that you've changed a lot in the last six hundred years."

Jack grinned. "I certainly hope so. The same can definitely be said about you." He thought back to the far brasher and more arrogant man he'd met in Paris in the 1920s. A twinge of sadness crossed Henry's gaze.

"You think about her much?"

"Vicki?"

Jack rolled his eyes. What was it with Henry and pretending he didn't understand the questions Jack asked?

"Of course, Vicki." Jack had liked Vicki Nelson. He too had felt the draw of the private detective Henry had teamed up with in Toronto and recognized the irony that the one woman who had truly touched his soul in all the time Jack had known him was just about the only woman who declined to be with him. But maybe that was part of why she'd left such an indelible mark on his soul. That and her incredible courage.

"Not as often as I used to."

"Which means?"

"Daily, not hourly. Of course I think about her. But that was five hundred years ago, as you well know. And my relationship with her was nothing like yours with Ianto. But, boy, as horrible as the stuff we dealt with was, in those few years, I had more fun with her…"

Jack reached out and touched his friend's shoulder, squeezing gently.

"So," Henry redirected the conversation, "Where to now?"

"I told you, I've got a lead on a partially scavenged ship. Figure there's still some salvageable stuff on board. Guess we'll find out when we get there."

"Think you'll be back through here at the end of the job?"

Jack shrugged. "We'll be back eventually."

"It's been nice having you here, Jack."

Jack raised his glass in a toast.

"To old friends."

"Old friends." He sighed. "I'm starting to feel my age, Jack."

Jack grinned at him. "Yeah, that first millennium is a bitch, isn't it?" But then he sobered. "Not the kind of thing you can talk to people about here, is it?"

"Not exactly."

"You thinking about making a move?"

Henry shrugged. "What's better for a vampire than an outlying space station? No sunlight, plenty of willing partners to drink from, and not a lot of questions asked if someone like Mr. Leese shows up dead. Plus Bessie's is doing well. I'm respected. I have friends here, a place in this community, time to paint and sculpt. And once in awhile my oldest friend drops by for a few days." He smiled at Jack ruefully.

"And what about love?"

"I have—company."

"Hardly the same thing."

"I feel like I'm falling into the looking glass. Weren't we just having this conversation about you?"

"Point taken. You okay, though, really, Henry? For what it's worth, Kam says your hostess has a thing for you…"

"Really?" Henry looked across the room speculatively, then returned his gaze to Jack. "No, I'm fine. You know how it is. An old friend shows up, and you take a trip down memory lane. My memory lane is just longer and more curved than most. Easier to fall into a bit of melancholy. But tomorrow you'll be gone, and life will go back to normal." He looked back over at the woman standing behind the hostess stand. "And maybe the next time you drop by, I'll be in love too. You never know."

Jack tossed back the rest of his drink, stood, pulled Henry up, into his arms and into a deep and passionate kiss that did not go unnoticed by the hostess. Finally they came apart, and Jack placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, brushed the long, brown curls back off of Henry's face, then laid his own forehead against that of the man who six hundred years earlier had been his lover.

"I'll see you soon, my old friend. Be well," and he turned and strode from the restaurant.

"You too," whispered Henry, watching him go.


	12. Chapter 11

Interlude—Chapter 11

………………………

"_Let me let you in on a secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan on it, don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a cat nap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee."_

_--FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper, __**Twin Peaks**_

……………………..

For the second time that day, Kam wasn't in Jack's quarters when the Captain went looking for him. But neither were the sweater Jack had bought for him, nor _Ozma of Oz_, so it was with a fair amount of confidence that he grabbed a book for himself and headed for the observation deck. Pausing at the entrance, he drank in the sight of the young blonde man, intently reading the book he held on his lap. It had been so very long since just looking at someone could make his heart swell; it was a miraculous feeling.

"Hi," he said quietly. Kam started and his eyes flew up, his body tensed, then relaxed as he recognized Jack. A hesitant smile danced across his lips.

"Jack."

"You look like you're enjoying the book." He held up his hand to show the copy of _The Wizard of Oz_ he'd brought with him. "Mind if I join you?"

"Of course not, Sir."

Jack lowered himself down next to Kam.

"I've gotta get Smeed to put a couch up here," he commented idly.

"That would be nice," Kam replied. He watched Jack carefully out of the corner of his eye. Initially he'd been pleased earlier that Jack seemed comfortable with his socializing with his newfound friends, but when the trio had disbanded not long after the captain excused himself and Kam went looking for him, he found that Jack had left the ship. No note, no message, just gone. Kam's insecurities had immediately kicked in; he interpreted his superior's disappearance as a sign of displeasure, and he'd gone into near-panic mode, reviewing all of his actions, wondering what he'd done that could have angered the man whose love and approval he desperately needed. But Jack didn't seem angry now. He just seemed like Jack.

"I couldn't find you after I left the mess," he stated neutrally.

"I went to say goodbye to Henry." Jack looked over at him, with a sudden realization. "I didn't leave you a note." He thought back to all the notes Ianto had hidden for him in unexpected places, and the memory brought a smile briefly to his lips before continuing sincerely. "I should have let you know where I was going. I'm sorry. It's been a long time since I've tried to do this. I'm a little out of practice."

"I was worried—I thought maybe I'd done something to upset you," Kam admitted evenly, staring straight ahead at the opposite bulkhead.

A fist clenched Jack's heart.

"Oh, no, Kam. I'm sorry." He paused, and Kam saw his lips twitch again at some unspoken memory. "I'm not one to suffer anger silently. If I'm upset with you over something, believe me, you'll know it." He reached over and put his hand on Kam's chin urging the boy to look at him. "But when that happens, and it will, it doesn't mean that I don't love you or want to be with you. I know it's going to take you awhile to stop feeling like you're walking on eggshells with me, but you DON'T need to be careful. I just want you to be YOU." He moved his arm over Kam's shoulder in invitation, and the young man snuggled in tight against him in relief. Jack placed a quick kiss on Kam's temple and Kam responded with a deep desperate kiss on the lips. Jack caressed Kam's face gently, calming him, slowing the kiss, building passion. Both men were panting when they finally pulled apart.

"Now that," Jack grinned at him, "is what I call a 'welcome home'." Kam grinned back.

"Did you have a nice time with Henry?"

"He sends his love. And he seemed intrigued by your impression of his hostess' interest."

"So how long HAVE you and Henry known each other?" Kam asked, trying desperately to sound casual.

Jack hesitated. Wibbly wobbly, timey whimey—how does one explain the character of time to a 19 year old boy in the 26th century dark ages? Six hundred years ago, give or take, on Henry's time line, 2,600 years ago on Jack's. But how does one account for 2000 years buried in a grave, aching to be back with the one person who made it essential that he survive that experience sane, more or less intact? Jack decided on the easiest answer.

"We met back on Earth, in the 1920s," he told Kam, matter of factly.

Kam stared at him.

"That would make you 600 years old."

Jack met his gaze evenly.

"Henry was born in 1519. He was four hundred years old when we met. But my timeline hadn't been quite so straightforward. I was born in the 51st century, and I've lived almost 3000 years since then."

Kam was frozen, wordlessly, his mind spinning.

"Three THOUSAND years. No wonder-- Our lifespans are insignificant compared to yours. Why do you even bother with us?"

Jack hugged Kam tightly to him, pressing another kiss to his temple.

"No, it isn't like that , Kam. Each minute for me is just as long as for you. It means every bit as much to me as to you. I live it just as you do. I love just as deeply as you. It's not that the experiences are compacted—just that the losses are prolonged."

"And Henry?"

"We were lovers 600 years ago. We've been friends since. Henry is the one person I don't have to explain anything to. He's suffered his share of losses too." He looked at Kam seriously. "And when I was trying to run away from the feelings I had for you, it was Henry who pointed out what I could be throwing away. And Henry who tracked Fletcher and his henchmen down, rescued you after we were attacked. If you ever need help, and for some reason I'm not there, you can trust Henry. I'd trust him with your life. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Jack. If I need help, and you aren't around, I can go to Henry."

"Not that I'm ever not going to be there," Jack told him lightly, gently punching him in the shoulder. Kam laughed, as he had intended. Jack ruffled his hair affectionately.

"How do you like the new haircut, Champ?"

"Very much. And the clothes. And the new wrists. Thank you, Jack. I will pay you back."

"I know. I've no worries." Jack would have been perfectly happy to cover the expenses, but he knew better than to suggest it. Kam would never have agreed.

"Shouldn't the new crew being coming aboard soon?"

"Hmmm. Any time now."

"Jack! Shouldn't you be there to greet them as they come aboard?"

"That's part of Smeed's job."

"Jack, YOU are the captain, not Mr. Smeed. You should be there!"

Sighing, Jack closed the book with resignation.

"You want to come with me?"

"Don't you think it'd look a little strange, getting greeted by the Captain, the first officer and the _pilot_?"

"Not if the whole crew is there. Come on. Let's find your friends."


	13. Chapter 12

Interlude—Chapter 12

………………………

"_Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, working together is success."_

_-- Henry Ford_

……………………..

Jack put out an announcement over the loudspeaker, asking his crew to assemble at the boarding ramp. It was a surprisingly neatly groomed group that gathered. Apparently Kam's neat new haircut had inspired his crewmates. Smeed cast him a questioning look when he arrived. Jack answered his unspoken question.

"New crew, new tradition. Thought we'd try to get off to a good start, make people feel at home." He looked around the room. "Mr. Chibnall, Ms. Ali, do you think maybe you could set up a little reception in the mess? Something to eat and drink? Some of our new crew members may not have had dinner yet. I can send Mr. Anders down to give you a hand in a little while."

The young couple acknowledged their assignment and headed for the mess. Smeed looked at Jack.

"The engineer is already on board. Oliver Garrison. I gave him Kam's old cabin."

"What do you think?"

"I think that it's going to be very interesting to see who Pete Davies thinks will be good additions to the Welshman's crew."

Jack raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't pursue it. He was suddenly looking forward to meeting the people just then making their way up the gangway.

Smeed stood at Jack's left shoulder, astounded as a man he'd only caught glimpses of over the last thirty years greeted the seven people who found their way hesitantly one by one up the gang way. He was friendly, funny and welcoming, putting each and every person at ease, casually introducing the new and existing crew members. He neither advertised nor disguised his relationship with Kam, deferring to him, touching him lightly from time to time. It was an amazing transformation. Smeed had seen Jack furious, withdrawn, emotionless, passionate, bereft and manic but he'd never seen him affable. Jack actually wore the mantle of host quite well. Who ever would have guessed? And yet, at the same time, he never lost the air of command. His crewmembers might like him; none would think he was someone they wanted to cross.

When everyone was aboard, Jack turned to Anders.

"Kam, why don't you go check on Mr. Garrison, let him know about the reception. Mr. Jennings, Ms. Tolbert, would you please give Ali and Chibnall a hand while Mr. Smeed and I get everyone settled into their cabins?" He looked back at Kam. "I'll meet you in the mess hall in a few minutes."

"Yes, sir. See you in a few minutes, sir."


	14. Chapter 13

Interlude—Chapter 13

………………………

"_Every morning I wake up saying, 'I'm still alive-- a miracle,' so I keep pushing." _

_--Jacques Cousteau_

……………………..

Kam felt an involuntary shiver as he approached his old cabin and wondered idly if he would ever cease to have a visceral reaction to it. After a moment's hesitation, he touched the door's buzzer. A moment later the door swung open, and Kam's gaze fell on the room's only occupant.

He was a hulk of man… although it was hard to call him a man with so much metal and wiring where skin should be. It might not have been so bad if he hadn't had his shirt off… but when he turned, Kam could see that half his face was cybernetic implants, and a bad job of it at that.

The human half of his mouth formed into a friendly seeming smiled when he saw Kam standing there. "You must be Mr. Anders. Ship's pilot. Mr. Smeed mentioned you." He extended his hand – the one that was mostly flesh and blood. It was badly scared.

"Yeah… Kamden Anders…" he floundered, accepting the handshake.

"Oliver Garrison… but most folks just call me Buddy."

"Kam," he said, inviting the other man to use his first name. He realized that at one time Buddy must have been a good looking man. He had bright blue eyes and freckles… if his eyebrow was any indication, he'd been blond, though his entire head was bald now. He didn't look much older than twenty five. He wasn't sure what else to say. He was sure his discomfort was showing.

"Sixty four percent," said Buddy.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sixty four percent of this is machine. It's what most folks want to know," he shrugged. His smile didn't waver; neither did the friendliness of his tone.

Kam cleared his throat, embarrassed; he'd been wondering, but never would have asked.

"Industrial accident," Buddy explained. "Six years ago."

Kam found himself staring at the dull grey metal floor between their boots. "I… I'm sorry."

"I'm not."

He blinked up at the other man, surprised by the statement.

"I'm alive. Don't care what the Empire calls it, the brain is all mine. Except for a few relays," he winked.

"I guess… I guess there's something to that. Being alive, I mean."

"Better 'an the alternatives anyway."

Involuntarily Kam returned his grin.

"The captain sent me to let you know that there's a small reception in the mess—an opportunity for people to meet. He's hoping you'll join us."

Garrison cast a glance around his room, at his half-unpacked gear, then grabbed a shirt and pulled it on over his head.

"Let's go, Kam. I'll finish this later. I have to say, after all the stories I've heard, I'm looking forward to meeting Captain Jack Harkness..."


	15. Chapter 14

Interlude—Chapter 14

………………………

_"Enthusiasm starts at the top."_

_--Jerry Borin_

……………………..

Smeed had offered the remaining crew members the option of changing cabins prior to the arrival of the new crew members, and they'd taken him up on it, the two men and two women choosing to room together. There were an odd number of men and women in the new group, and after reviewing the files, Smeed had decided to give single cabins to Oliver Garrison and the new medic. He would have liked to be able to house everyone in private cabins, but since the Welshman operated with such a skeleton crew, the extra crew quarters had long since been converted to extra cargo space.

Smeed and Harkness took the new crew members up a deck, guiding them to the crew quarters, getting everyone sorted and settled before heading up another level to the mess. His people had done a yeoman's job creating a festive environment, with music, food and drink. People were standing around, chatting easily, relaxed, old and new crew members mingling, feeling each other out. It was a watchful group, still not sure what to expect, hoping to have the opportunity to create a new life, but not convinced yet that they would find it aboard the Welshman. Ali and Chibnall stood together, chatting with the new cook and medic, their fingers entwined. Jack grabbed a glass of lemonade; the first sip took him instantly back to sitting on a porch in South Carolina on a sticky hot summer day in the 1950s, holding the sweating glass against his forehead, flirting with a girl.

"Wow!"

Roberta Tolbert heard him. "Amazing, isn't it? It tastes just the way I've always imagined real lemonade tasted, you know, when I was reading stories about old earth as a little kid." She nodded her head at the young blonde man on the other side of the room. "Kam made it. He's really something, Sir." Then realizing how forward that must have sounded to her captain, Tolbert blushed. Jack tried to reassure her with a gentle smile.

"You don't have to tell me that, Ms. Tolbert. Although I'm learning more and more about it every day."

He made his way around the room, moving from group to group, staying just long enough to put his crew at ease, leaving before his prolonged presence made them uncomfortable. At some point he found himself shoulder to shoulder with Kam Anders, talking to the new engineer, Buddy Garrison. Garrison and Kam seemed to be enjoying each other's company, and Jack found himself reluctant to leave the conversation, fascinated by Kam's newfound confidence and ever increasing social ease. He moved closer to his pilot, and the blonde responded by leaning into him. Jack's arm found its way casually around Kam's waist all on its own. Kam barely seemed to notice. Jack looked over at him.

"We're going to head out in a couple of hours. Are you feeling up to working your shift?"

Kam straightened away from him, looking offended. Jack missed the warmth of his body.

"Of course, Sir!" His indignation prompted a smirk from Jack. Of course he was.

"Just checking. But I thought you might want to take the opportunity to lie down for a little while before your shift starts." He gazed at him seriously. "Don't push it, Kam. You were badly hurt, and you're far from 100."

Kam held his gaze for a minute, then looked away. "That's not a bad idea, Jack. I think I will take advantage of a little down time. It's been a busy day." He looked over at Buddy apologetically.

"I hate to abandon you…"

Garrison smiled back at him easily.

"No worries. It sounds like you were injured recently. No one has to tell me about the importance of giving your body time to heal. I understand I'll be working the day shift initially, but I'm sure we'll have time to get to know each other in the days that come. And I'm looking forward to it." He held out his hand to shake Kam's. "It's been a pleasure, Mr. Anders." And then he shook Jack's as well. "I have to say, Captain Harkness, I'm looking forward to my time aboard your Welshman. Thank you for the opportunity."

"Welcome aboard, Mr. Garrison. Glad to have you."

Kam slipped away as Buddy and Jack chatted. The larger man's eyes followed him.

"No one is going to care if you go with him, Sir," Buddy told him boldly. "You've made the rounds. Everyone is going to have to leave soon, either to unpack or get ready for shift. And I suspect Mr. Anders could use the company."

Jack eyed him speculatively, but saw no underlying motive in his straightforward gaze.

"It's been a busy day, and he's been through a lot lately. I think I'll follow your advice. Good to meet you, Mr. Garrison. Sleep well."

And as Garrison moved over to join another cluster of his new crew mates, Jack slipped unnoticed from the room.

…………………………

Kam was on his side on Jack's bed, turned away from the entrance to the sitting room when the captain peaked through the open door. He stood for a moment just taking in the sight, amazed by the sense of longing brought on simply by laying eyes on Kam, a man he'd known for such a short time, with whom he'd shared no more than a smattering of kisses. He'd never so much as laid beside him, and yet he knew with a certainty that this was someone with whom he wanted to spend as much time as fate and life would allow.

"You awake?" he asked softly.

Surprised, the blonde man rolled over.

"Jack?"

"Hey. Shhhh. I didn't want to wake you. I just wondered—would you like some company?"

Kam struggled to a sitting position, trying to throw off the sleep which had been about to take him. Jack had been right about him being tired, but if the captain was saying that he wanted... Kam certainly wasn't going to deny him.

"Whatever you want is fine with me, Sir."

Jack leered at him. "Kam, one of these days, a day very soon, I hope, I'm going to take that same offer very differently, but right now the only thing I want to do is hold you in my arms and get a couple of hours of sleep. You aren't the only one who's had a long few days, you know. Despite never yet having had you in my bed, I already miss you when you aren't there. I don't sleep well without you."

"Me either, Jack."

Jack caressed the earnest young face—so very achingly young!--with his eyes, then slid out of his boots and pulled off his shirt before slipping into the narrow bed. Carefully, Jack wrapped his arms around Kam and the younger man relaxed against him, inhaling the unique scent of the captain, luxuriating in the overwhelming sense of homecoming. Together, they slipped off to sleep.


	16. Chapter 15

Interlude—Chapter 15

………………………

"_The ship, a fragment detached from the earth, went on lonely and swift, like a small planet."_

_--Joseph Conrad, __**The Nigger of the Narcissus**_

……………………..

It was fitting, Jack thought, that the first flight of the Welshman with his newly formed crew took place when the night shift was on duty, with himself in command, and Kamden Anders at the helm. It was with a new lightness of heart that he looked out at the stars in front of his ship, and he realized that he was anticipating this job with an enthusiasm he'd not felt in a long time. "Like an evening weevil hunt," he thought to himself, and his memory flashed back to the first time he'd laid eyes on Ianto Jones. But for the first time in five hundred years, the memory came unaccompanied by a stabbing pain in his gut. The love was there, and the sadness at his loss, but now too were the full emotions that evening had inspired—suspicion, admiration, excitement, attraction, curiosity—feelings that for so long had been drowned out by the overlay of grief. The sheer joy of being able to remember Ianto without the pain swept through Jack's body. Rising from his chair, he moved forward to the helm and set a hand on Kam's shoulder. Kam glanced up at him, curiously.

"Sir?"

"You have the coordinates from Mr. Smeed?"

"Yes, sir."

"Are we far enough from Omega to engage our main drives?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, Mister, then let's go find that ship."

………………………………..

_**Stay tuned for the further adventures of The Bonny Welshman and her new crew, coming soon (really really soon, please, Helen!) from the pen of Helen Pattskyn**_...

_(And to reiterate my completely self-serving request, if you really like or really hate this, mind leaving a comment?) _


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